Stargazers (Waluigi X Rosalina Fanfiction)
by DrCoeloCephalo
Summary: Can Waluigi find love among the stars? Ships: Waluigi X Rosalina, Daisy X Luigi


**GENERAL DISCLAIMER: Waluigi, Rosalina and the Super Mario franchise are copyrights of Nintendo. If I owned them, I wouldn't be making fanfiction, would I?**

Chapter 1: Alone

The warm yellow sun shines gently down on the peaceful, happy-go-lucky land of the Mushroom Kingdom. A soft breeze soars through the air, aiding the flight of a flock of Paragoombas as the flap their way over the local sports center, the Peach Dome. Its orange sphere top glistening in the sunlight, this building had been the place of catastrophic tennis tournaments, but now, it's just a more casual tennis court with one player biding his time as they bounce a tennis ball against a racket, hitting it towards a wall as they practiced their returns. The lonely figure sports his signature green shirt, hat and big black mustache, smiling with self satisfaction at his practice. The little plumber brother Luigi is still at the top of his game even as he trains alone. At least he thinks he's alone.

Unfortunately for him, a dark figure lurks in the shadows and watches Luigi carefully. A black, beady-eyed, spindly creature makes his way towards the tennis player, careful not to make a sound to alert its prey. The thing is now behind, Luigi and reaches out with two long, spider like limbs with pencil-length fingers as it prepare to victimize Luigi. Luigi, sensing some presence, stops dead cold. The ball bounces past him as he slowly turns his head to see who's behind him… but he's too late.

Luigi feels the quickness of the form behind him reaching down his overalls with the long arms capable of reaching all the way down to his underwear. He feels the sharp, painful sting of his undies pulled upwards with mighty force and preserved in place as he feels the tag of his own briefs over his eyes, blinding him to the perpetrator. He had been given an atomic wedgie and it's no surprise who the attacker is.

Biting back the tears of pain in his eyes as to not soak his undies, Luigi squeaked out to greet his enemy.

"Hey, Waluigi."

"Hey, loser.", Waluigi saluted to the shorter man whose green underpants hid his sight. The tall toothpick of a man in his black overalls and dark purple shirt known as Waluigi cackled to himself in self-satisfaction at being at the top of his game in teasing even as he harasses alone.

Luigi, slowly and in great discomfort removed the back of his skivvies as his cheeks (the ones on his face) turned tomato sauce red because he hoped nobody else could see him in this state. As Luigi does so, Waluigi takes off his hat and pulls out a small notebook and a pencil and professionally flips through the pages.

"Waluigi," Luigi says, his drawers freed from his forehead and retreating back down his plumber pants "don't you have somewhere else you need to be? I'm really not in the mood for your 'games' right now."

"I'm a little busy, man." Waluigi replies in an uncaring expression as if he had just been interrupted from an important task.

"Here it is!" Waluigi gets to a page in his notebook with the top of the page marked 'Schedule' with numerous items listed below. He reads the first one out loud.

"' _Find the green loser in the tennis court and give him an atomic wedgie.'_ Check."

Luigi, in exasperation, tries to get Waluigi's attention again. "Good. You stretched out my underwear. Now can you please let me be? I'm actually expecting someone and-"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Waluigi responds again like some annoying nobody was telling him about the itchiness of his toe wart. "All right. What comes next? Here it is!"

He turns to Luigi with a smile on his face.

"I'm actually expecting someone, so I need you to step aside. According to my schedule, today's the day I ' _Ask that Daisy dish out on a date!'_ Hope you're ready to take notes on my smooth moves." Waluigi raises and lowers his eyebrows in a sly expression and puts his notebook back in his hat and his hat back on his head.

"Wait!" Luigi exclaims "You can't do that, I'm-"

"Speak of the devil, here comes the chick now!" Waluigi points towards the Peach Dome locker rooms he had previously sneaked out of to attack Luigi to see Daisy casual strolls towards the two of them in casual orange shorts and a short sleeve yellow dress and a smile on her face.

"Heh." Waluigi smiled to himself and toys with his mustache "Guess she could sense my manly aura, which is why she's here for me."

"No, Waluigi." Luigi says to him warningly "she's actually here because I-"

"Yeah, that's nice loser. Now stuff it so I can work my magic on her."

Brimming with confidence and puffing his chest out like a bird prepared to display to its mate, Waluigi struts towards his crush, smiling all the way. As he gets close enough to meet her halfway on the tennis court, he stops and poses by flexing one thin, yet muscled arm to show off.

"So, you ready to hit the shooting range", Waluigi raises an eyebrow at the approaching Daisy "or do you wanna stay here and check out these guns?", Waluigi gestures towards his flexed muscles.

Waluigi looks up to the empty tennis court, prepared to see Daisy gush or even giggle at his pick up line. The tennis court in front of him was empty. Daisy was nowhere in front of him, giving him any kind of acknowledgement. In confusion, he turns to see Daisy chatting it up with Luigi and giggling like a schoolgirl as Luigi blushes a bubblegum pink. She had completely ignored him. Enraged, Waluigi stomps back to the spot he had just walked from and stands next to Luigi, his arms crossed in fury. The two continue giggling at something he hadn't picked up on but they don't acknowledge him despite being a more than obvious intruder of their space. After what seemed like hours of Waluigi angrily tapping his pointer finger on his crossed arms and tapping his feet in his orange elf shoes, the shorter people finally look up to the taller, pointy-nosed man glaring down on them.

"Oh hey, Waluigi", Daisy says with a coy face "I didn't see you here." She had very clearly seen him but she just didn't take heed to him. Waluigi felt his chest twang in hurt.

"Luigi and I were just about to go on our date," the brown haired tomboy wraps her arms around the younger brother's arm, pulling him like a lovey dovey flirt "isn't that right, sweetie?"

Luigi's face goes from a bubble gum pink to a hot pink.

"Y-yeah," Luigi stutters like an embarassed but happy child as Waluigi's eyes widen, "I tried to t-tell ya. I was m-meeting up D-D-Daisy later here at the P-Peach D-Dome. I w-was practing my sh-shots while I waited for her."

Daisy gave Luigi a peck on his cheek, his face going from pink to tomato sauce red with an illusion of steam coming off his head.

"And now I'm here," Daisy cheerfully stated as she tugs Luigi along by his arm, "so let's go."

"S-See ya, Waluigi." Luigi stutters one last time as they make their way out the Prach Dome.

Waluigi watches them as they leave, his eyes still wide. Upon them having finally left the court arm in arm, he shakes his head to snap himself out of his shock.

"Hmph" Waluigi grunts to himself, "Losers. Both of them. Especially that Daisy broad. She lost her chance at all THIS." Waluigi gestures at his tall, thin body.

"Am I right?", he asks to nobody on the empty tennis court.

He drops his arms in disappointment. He raises one to pull off his hat and reaches into it to pull out the notebook and pencil. He flips to the page of his schedule and crosses out the second item. Looking at the third activity on the list, he beams once again. He puts the notebook back where it was summoned and reaches into his hat, this time to pull out a cellular phone. A custom-made personal phone of an upside-down, yellow L complete with a dialpad. He dials a familiar number and holds his phone to his pointed elf ear to hear a receptionist's answer.

"Thank you for calling the Mushroom Kingdom office of WarioWare, Incorporated. We make games because games make money. Your call is being transferred as a priority number to our CEO. One moment please."

"Hello?" A gruff voice says on the other end of the line.

"Wario, buddy!" Waluigi exclaims into his phone. "Where have you been? You just missed out on probably my best wedgie yet on goody two-shoes Mario's loser brother!"

"Yeah, Waluigi. You know I'd love to be there right now and cause some mayhem but work has finally caught up to me. Apparently Mona and the gang knew I was off adventuring and tried to leave them with all the heavy lifting, so now I'm stuck in my office like a suit signing some important bosslike documents. It's all been piling up ever since I've been treasure hunting against that tentacled cyclops black jewel.* Kat and Ana are alternating between handing me large stacks of paper I have to give my approval on. I can't talk now, I'll catch you later. We'll grab lunch down the road or something. See ya, buddy."

Waluigi hears the click of the phone being hung up.

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy myself too." He says into the dial tone. "I'll catch ya later." He hangs up his phone and puts it back in his hat.

Waluigi brings out his notebook again from within his cap. He crosses off the third item on his schedule, ' _Hang with ma buddy, Wario.'_

Waluigi straightens his hat onto his head. The lone figure walks towards the Peach Dome locker rooms, hands in his overall pockets. Once again, the Peach Dome is left with a lone figure but soon, both the remaining man and the court will be in the same state: alone.

* _See Wario World_


End file.
